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Saturday, May 21, 2011


"Eleven" is just about the dumbest topic ever for a writing exercise. I deserve ten whacks and one to grow on. I'll take it figuratively, thanks.

I have no idea what the synaptic trigger was for this. The blog is called "Drop and Give Me Ten", maybe? My first name [Evelyn] was frequently difficult for other kids to remember and/or say, and lately that's been on my mind because I've been heading down strange corridors off Memory Lane on Facebook? The whole Rapture nonsense, maybe? (You know: "elevate", and it gets corrupted to "eleven" because I'm not paying attention?)

Who cares. Nobody's reading it except you - sorry - so I guess you care. And you also have to write something on my whimsical topic word. Fortunately you are eleven times better than I am at writing so there is probably some sort of formula for how much easier these are for you to complete. Remember to factor in my lesser-than-years-ago expectations for my own efforts. Let's call that variable "X", and then solve for it.

I just counted my teeth. If there were eleven of them I could complete this essay on that topic: my teeth. Unfortunately, I now have nineteen, too many. If I'd been smart I'd have counted my teeth before deciding on the topic and thus been able to make the topic "nineteen". I know you're writing now - so, would it throw you off too much to change yours to "nineteen" at this point, or have you gotten too far into the whole "eleven" thing?

All right, I guess that's not particularly fair. So this is what I'll do. I'll write a song.

(To the tune of "Put Them All Together, They Spell Mother")

E is for my slack e-magination
L is for the levity I seek
E confirms my mind's evacuation
V is "verily, I've got some cheek!"
E the third within this word so rotten
N concludes the Digital Plus One

Line them up and read from top to bottom,
Apologies to you ~ I'm done.