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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

U-Pick Personality Quiz

OK, you're about to be presented with a series of paired choices. You have to pick one.

1A: Pancakes and sausages
1B: Waffles and bacon

Well, that's really sort of lovely, isn't it.

2A: Blue jacket with broken zipper
2B: Blue pants with broken zipper

Hardly a choice. I mean, selecting 2B means you have some explaining to do, especially since the rest of us knew you had a choice, right?

3A: Flat tire, city bus, two transfers, rain
3B: Lying to the boss, Oprah

(I'm not suggesting Oprah as your boss, just to clarify.)

4A: Home burglarized while you're at work
4B: Home burglarized while you're on the couch

Rethinking the bus, aren't you. Hindsight is 50-50.

5A: Steak for lunch
5B: Steak for your black eye

B? Are you nuts? You know you don't have to pick this just because you decided to lie about being sick, right? The burglar isn't necessarily, say, also a podiatrist whose first afternoon appointment is with your boss who has a little hammertoe problem, and who will apologize for being a bit late to treat the hammertoe because of his other job as a burglar, and as it happened he was doing a home invasion at your house - don't you work for his company? - and incidentally you seemed fine, no sore throat at all, when he punched you in the eye and you yelled "oh please! no! don't hit me again!" Because that would be entirely too coincidental.


1A, 1B, or 5A: Good choices
Any of the others: Bad choices

Go back to the instructions. Did I say you had to pick between each pair? No, I did not. All I said was that you had to pick one.



  1. I'm still thinking about waffles and steak while watching Oprah's home be burglarized from my couch. The suspect was wearing a blue jacket with a broken zipper and had a spare tire.

    Someone left my pancake out in the rain.

    I got nuthin.

  2. Bring the lady a fresh order of bacon!