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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Sitting-For May Day

    She's sitting.

    She's sitting on the couch.

    She's sitting on the couch, and the television's on  but she isn't really watching it or listening to it. She couldn't tell you what the program is about. She's just sitting, and besides there's too much noise. Internal noise, the external is just background . The real show is going on another wavelength. It''s made up of recriminations, guilt trips, jokes, snatches of Broadway and pop tunes, dialogue, admonitions, aphorisms and her name over and over again.

    " You should get up (you shouldn't get) *Get up, GET ON UP, Get up, GET ON UP" Jesse?This place is *Theeere's a place for us* a mess. You know you suck. You suck. "how many licks does it take to get to..." You don't lick ,YOU SUCK. Jesse?  back hurts...can't move...never mind...just sit. Fuck. Jesse. What are you doing? Where are you going? *Where am I going? And what will I find?...* I want something to drink.  Maybe I'll make some tea. Tea Time...Time...time...time Never Ask What's become of us* Jesse! You're a fucking mess, aren't you? Yes. Thought so, going to do anything today? NO! As long as you know what you're doing. "I don't know where you ever got that idea" " I'm making this up as I go along!!" JESSE!What? Made you look! Is there any milk for the tea? Did I make the tea yet?. I'm not moving. * I like to MOVE IT! MOVE IT!* Just fucking sit there! That's all you're good for, isn't it? No. Oh, please to contradict?  No. See? I was right. Shut up. *Shut up yo mout, dat is yo Daddy" Classic, but irrelevant. Shut Up. I think you're just about finished. What? You know. *And I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know...* * I know what boys like, I know what guys want...* No, you don't.  No I don't , not anymore anyway anyhow anyway I choose. Yes, I'd say you're just about done. You said that. No I said you were almost FINISHED, pay attention. I am. Finished? No. Starting? What? *Starting all over again is gonna be rough* No, I didn't think so. What? Finished.
I haven't started. What? What? What are you going to start? I'll start *Starting Here, Starting Now!" SHUT UP!................................................................................................"

" I need help"

There's an internal pause.

She picks up the remote, pushes off. Silence.

" Well that was a start. Now what are you going to do? I don't know. I'm still thirsty. I think I'll make some tea...*...for Two, and Two for Tea* It's hard, isn't it?  I wouldn't know. No, I guess you wouldn't. * Wouldn't it be good to be on your side, Grass is always greener over there. Wouldn't it be good if we could live without a care...* If you say so..."

She picks up the remote, pushes on. Noise.

She sits.


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