I realized today that I'm old. I don't get kids today and I sure as hell don't get their music. Which stuns me, because I never had to walk to school in the snow with no shoes, uphill (both ways). I was hip, y'know? I had my ear to the ground, my finger on the pulse.
And then along came Justin Bieber.
I thought it was a disease of the mouth, a kind of fungus that could be treated with penicilin, a fungus that made 12 year old girls have complete and utter meltdowns and sent their cougar-in-training MILFS into panty-toss overload. As it turns out, I was not totally wrong about the Biebs.
And all of a sudden, I became one of those old people who yell at kids to get off their damned lawn. One of those old farts who tell us that we don't know how good we have it with our Sony Walkmans and our computers that fit on a desk (not the width of a room).... Wait...they don't have Sony Walkmans anymore? What about VHS??? Why was I not informed??? BBM what? And what the hell is a Gaga?
So as it turns out, I don't have a clue about music anymore. Kids roll their eyes at me when I extol the virtues of U2, or praise the Beatles or wax poetic about the Rolling Stones. God, now that I say it out loud, maybe I am getting a bit old. I mean Christ, I was in the emergency room for 8 hours last month (Eight.Hours.) and The young doctors walking around did not have wedding bands. Hell, they probably weren't even dating. They looked young enough to have a curfew. And after calling the umpteenth Doogie Howser "Son," I realized that, like it or not, I'm getting on in years.
But back to music.
Bieber sucks, the Stones rule, and get off my lawn.
Wait, what was I talking about?